Back When....

I have a habit. I wouldn't say it's a bad or a good habit. In fact I am not sure this even qualifies as a habit but it's something I do ALOT. Whenever I am alone I tend to think about High School and the years before I met Matt. It's hard for me to not to be a little sad about those times. A lot of the people who were my "Best Friends" I don't even speak to anymore. Not because we are angry with each other or anything interesting. We've just grown apart. I can think of 100 different scenarios when I could have/should have/would have done things different. My how my life would have changed if I had. Time for a short trip down memory lane.

This is Prom 2004. That's me on the right and my "Best Friend" Ami on the left. We both went alone, well with each other really. Ami was single (If I remember correctly) and my boyfriend wasn't allowed to go. (Don't ask why, It's not a story I want to get into right now). I got ready at her house, her mom did my hair. I love how this picture looks like with both have little to no make up on. I can assure you we had way more than enough on. That was a GREAT night. In the back on the mantel you can see a picture of her brother who became another one of my "best friends." In 2005 I could have went to prom with him. I didn't. I should have and I would have if I hadn't gotten back together with my boyfriend (the same one who wasn't allowed at this prom). I can only imagine the way things would have changed if I went with him. I don't speak to either of them, although they are both my friends on Facebook. I like getting little updates on there lives but at the same time it makes me a little sad. This picture is from 2002. I LOVE it. It's my absolute favorite picture of me. It reminds me of that summer. I was going to be a sophomore when I started school in the fall and I spent every day I could at my "Best Friend's" house, which is where this picture was taken. I can remember when this was taken. I am pretty sure I was either going to the bathroom or to the kitchen to get more food. She happened to take this picture at just the perfect time. This is a different "best friend" than the one in the prom picture. At one point we were all 3 best friends, at one point I wasn't friends with either of them. Now me and this "best friend" are just friends. I see sometimes, sometimes I don't. I still love her to pieces but I don't tell her EVERYTHING like I used to.

I feel like the growing apart is the downside to "growing up."

There are days when I want to go back to high school. Just so I can have some of my favorite people back. I don't want you to think I would trade my little boy for anything but I wish I could have done things different so he could have that many more people to love him. It makes me sad to think that people who were such an big part of history don't have such a big part in my present but in a way it's a happy kind of sad.